I don’t want to hear those words… (One Man, One Woman)

I wrote this a couple days ago when a guy said something about my appearance… I ran down to the rec room to get something and he called me sexy. I think he had been drinking, ha ha. But I came back to my room and my mind was in a turmoil, and I hated how those words made me feel… like a piece of meat, or an object, belittled and not valued…

So I wrote this down. “Those words” below doesn’t necessarily refer to “sexy”, could just be “beautiful”…

Okay I’ll stop talking.

 

 

I don’t want to hear those words.

I didn’t realize it til now, but when I dressed this morning, and looked at myself in the mirror as I made sure everything was perfect, I was thinking about those words, and hoping the eyes that saw me would think them, and maybe someone would say them, but now, as you grin at me and say the words I realize I wanted to hear, I just want to cover my ears and run away from your stare.

I wanted those words, I now realize, but I didn’t want them this way. I didn’t want how I looked on the outside – the way the sun shone on my hair and the way everything happened just so to make me look amazing – to draw the words from you, words flowing not from love of my character, but from a lust for my looks. I didn’t want you to say those words that you say to every pretty girl. I want to be special, set apart in your eyes.

Is it too much to ask, that you only look on me that way? When I see that lust and want for me in your eyes, is it too much to ask that I be the only one you desire?

One man, one woman. That’s how You created us, Lord, how You set forth marriage to be.

One man, one woman.

If I keep myself pure for one man – refuse to look on others in a way I should not, even as I now wait for what may never come – is there any guarantee there will be a man out there, waiting for one woman, that will be me?

I have set standards this world laughs at and does not respect. Our claims are opposites and cannot exist together – they claim happiness comes from being free, I hold to God’s promise that there is greater joy in being bound to one man.

You have set me apart, I will be set apart in all that I do. Now ends chasing after meaningless words. Now begins finding my All in You.

Whether or not my one man comes along, who will choose me as his one woman to be bound to him for life, I choose now to wait for him. And to stay pure for him.

“I Will Wait For You”

What a wonderful poem – this woman sums it up so well.

Wow.

 

Reblogged from: http://musingsofanarmchairtheologian.blogspot.com/

Love is patient, love is kind…

God has given me a contentment in the area of marriage. I don’t want to be married right now or soon, I don’t believe I’m ready. In the future? Only if God opens the door. It’s all in His hands.

If I do get married, however, I want my relationship to my husband to be strong. I want my love to be a verb, not just a word I say or write in a Valentine’s Day card. Here’s a list I began to make…

If I get married…

I want to know my husband’s phone number backwards and forwards

I want to have private jokes with him that we laugh at spontaneously

I want to have my eyes light up when he walks in the room, no matter if we’re celebrating our 5th or 50th anniversary

I want to have quiet evenings where perhaps we don’t say a word, but simply bask in the quiet… and peace… and each other’s presence

I want to be able to give my husband support and strength for what God calls him to do

I want to be able to give him sound, wise, godly, and encouraging advice

I want to find something every Christmas that will make his face just beam with joy

I want to spontaneously give him foot rubs when he comes home tired and down

I want to be a servant – and to be able to think more highly of him than me, and to put his interests above my own

I want to worship and seek God with him

I want to experience all of my “firsts” with him – first house, first child, first grey hair, first grandchild… and so, so much more.

I may never get married. Or it may be 10, 20 years from now! I have no idea. But for now… I want to show God’s love to those around me. My family, my friends. I want to seize the lessons God is giving me on how to love as He loves – so if He brings the right man along I’ll be ready to put into action my commitment.