Rediscover: Day 39 – Last Notes

I’ve started several posts these last couple days, but all of them… died after the first couple paragraphs. And I have a few ideas I want to blog about, but I’m afraid I just haven’t had time or the inspiration to flesh them out…

Which really is terrible considering tomorrow’s the last day of Rediscover.

In some ways I’m excited… After all, I’m a dreamer. A writer. An introvert. I really miss reading books, and watching movies. I can’t tell you how many books and movies, during the last 40 days, I have thought “Oh I should read/re-read/watch/re-watch that!” If I could have the mental list in my brain printed out, of what I wanted to watch and read after the fast ended, it would be pret-ty long…

On the other side…  it sounds dumb to think my relationship with God won’t be as close after this fast ends, but I think in some ways that is true. I think fasting is removing something from your life. It’s making room – making room for God. As one pastor from Imago Dei Community in Portland phrased it, it’s “making room for joy.” Fasting is an act of seeking. And God rewards the truthful, fervent seeker.

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him ~ Hebrews 11:6

Looked for an image of running and couldn't resist this picture of Rocky, sorry

I dug holes… and kept them empty for two fortnights. Sometimes I filled them with other things, sometimes with God, but their very existence reminded me to focus my heart on seeking God & spending time with Him. Now as I fill those holes back up, with things that are great, that are things God’s created for us to enjoy here on this earth, I have to remember that those things are wonderful but they have their own place – which is BELOW God. I’ve been given the gift of  a 40 day time of learning how to seek God, and fill my empty time with Him, and taking the hand of a friend to stand back up when I fell down – and now I want to exit running strong, and continuing in this spirit of seeking God above world things.

Yeah, I know I’m going to fall on my face. Multiple times. But… I think the most important thing is to lean on God’s strength, to accept His forgiveness and to forgive myself, and to keep running this life for Him!

So those are my thoughts… Rediscover is drawing to a close, but my life and my relationship with God are still before me, a race waiting to be run well, until death and the glorious start of life beyond.

Rediscover: Day 28 – Proverbs

Keep my commands and you will live; guard my teachings as the apple of your eye. Bind them on your fingers; write them on the tablet of your heart.

Proverbs 7:2-3

Rediscover: Day 20ish – JOY! :)

WARNING: This post may ramble and not make sense. Continue reading at your own peril.

As you can tell from the title I’m in a very JOYish mood! Well really I’m a generally joyous person. I like to describe myself as a balloon (filled with helium, thank you), I might get pulled down but I always bob back up. (I just randomly thought of Winnie the Pooh. I love Pooh. Okay Sarah, focus…)

And no I’m not ADD/ADHD or any of those letters, or on a sugar high, I’m just acting like it right now.

Nothing super spectacular happened today – I worked at my dad’s place, tutoring math to little kids. The tutors there love teasing me and talking to me. I enjoy being in the middle there – too old to be a pupil, really too young to be a tutor, yet there I am. I drove to work without shoes today, which was a very new experience that I found to be exciting and enjoyable once I got used to it. It also made me feel wonderfully Duvall-ish, even though I wasn’t driving a lifted truck splattered with mud.

I didn’t decide to go shoeless on a whimsy, though, I did it for TOMS Shoes,
an organization that sells shoes – and for every pair you buy they give  a

pair to kids that really need them. I’ve wanted to buy a pair of their shoes but just can’t justify the price… but today was TOMs annual “One Day Without Shoes”, and since I’ll seize any excuse to go barefoot (plus it’s for a good cause!!), I gladly participated.
<– There’s what their organization does. Because you were interested.

Then on the drive home, once I hit the gravel road where no one drives, I stopped and looked at the clouds. They were moving so fast from the wind it was like watching a time lapse movie… in real time. There’s something very awesome about watching clouds shift and move smoothly across the sky, almost like white, celestial tongues of fire. Forming, dissipating… very neat to watch.

So… why I am all JOYish? Well you see it’s because there’s Jesus, then Others, and then there’s You do do dooo… I apologize to you readers. I will be much more solemn in the next post. Actually probably not, but compared to this post, yes.

Really why wouldn’t I be joyish? (By the way that’s not a word. So don’t use it where anyone would read it and laugh at you, e.g. a book, a school paper, a blog…) No matter what happens, life is in God’s hands. And He’s good. He’s not a tame lion, but He is good.

Thanks for putting up with me. I applaud you – you have earned a Dove chocolate.

Rediscover: Day 24 – Regroup!

As my friend wonderfully put into words on her blog, we’ve paused on this fasting journey… banged our dented armor back into shape… refocused our eyes on God and seeking Him… formed a battle plan… and most importantly, prayed together for each other, for God’s strength and Spirit for these next few days.

Refocusing certainly makes a world of difference.

With fasting, the biggest thing I do… is fail. Whether it’s from food or media. I usually fail to set strict enough guidelines, or leave a few exceptions that are like little holes that I play with and widen until I’ve allowed in so many “but…”s and “it’ll be okay”s that I’m not fasting anymore. I HATE that. I hate the feeling of failure.

So having that time of (mentally) holding hands with my friend, stilling our hearts, and “re”ing everything (reminding ourselves what and why we’re doing, rededicating ourselves to God and His plan for us during these 40 days, refreshing our hearts in the process)… was so helpful…

Really it would just be pride to think we could make it 40 days without a “refresher”. We’re not that strong. And the point is not for us to be strong enough. Not at all!

Well I’m going to have to cut this short. I have a few more topics I’ve been marinating on for blog posts… hopefully I can put them into words this week.

God bless.

Rediscover: Day #11 – Ducklings and Didgeridoos

WOW, I can’t believe it’s already day #11! This is flying by! I don’t have any wonderful words of wisdom to share today, unfortunately I do not think amazing thoughts every day, I try to take a few days off every couple weeks just so I don’t become too awesome! =P Just some awesome things that I’ve been blessed with over the last couple days! Thought I’d share them with you.

• This Saturday I had a great day! I went to a friend’s house and we made cinnamon rolls from scratch (took about 3-4 hours from beginning to end, ahh what a wait! But they were definitely worth it!! ). While the cinnamon rolls were rising, then rising again, then baking, we worked on studying for finals. Yes, we actually did. Stayed focused and got a lot done! Then that evening my family played games with our neighbors.
• Sunday I got to listen to a talk from a guy who’s been serving at a youth group in Idaho, he had amazing stories about how he’s seen the power of God, and miracles that have happened. Really amazing.
• Then today I took a final for Astronomy, and feel really good about how I did. I know I got at least one question wrong – looked it up, and Copernicus created the heliocentric model, not the geocentric model. Phooey. But overall it went well.

Oh! The weirdest thing happened while driving to school today. I was on the freeway with a friend in the passenger seat, and thought I saw some birds up ahead in our lane. Birds fly, I figured they’d fly away. But as we got closer I leaned forward and realized it was a momma duck and her duckling, waddling behind! Okay, “Make Way for Ducklings” does not apply to the freeway – there’s no jolly policeman to stop traffic! I didn’t have time to do anything but slow down some. (I would have loved to see my face when I realized they were ducks and my friend’s face as she was shrieking and freaking out…) The momma duck flew into the air but I don’t know about the little duckling. Hopefully they’re both okay. I just couldn’t believe it, ducks crossing the freeway!! It was very bizarre.

Back to the list!

• Annnd tomorrow I have a job interview! The rides will be slightly hectic as it seems everyone in my family is going somewhere tomorrow… but it’ll work out. I’m excited. Plus…
• I found my black dress up pants. Dun-dun-dun-daaaaah!!! Ok maybe that doesn’t seem like a big deal but I’m excited because I despise dressing up for interviews, especially if I’ve lost my favorite pair of black pants… so I’m happy.

Just one more final on Wednesday, then I’m finished!!!!! La la la la la la la la!

Well, that’s all folks. I’m sure my brain will be back to thinking deep and ponderous things tomorrow, that I can share with y’all. Thank you for bearing patiently with my prattling til then.

God bless!

 

Here’s the didgeridoos, in case you were wondering.

Rediscover Day #7: Lessons from Gideon

“Midian so impoverished the Israelites that they cried out to the LORD for help…” – Judges 6:6

Judges 6-8

The Israelites are no different in the book of Judges than they were with Moses – fickle. Devoted to God one minute, to Baal and foreign gods the next. Despicable, wishy-washy people… until of course you consider that they stand as a metaphor for us… mmm:)

The oppression of the Midianites impoverished the Israelites so much that they called on the LORD, in whose eyes they had been doing evil for the last seven years (another low in one of their many cycles of obedience/disobedience). In response to the Israelites’ distress call, God sends a prophet that says, “Okay, I save you from the Egyptians. I save you from your oppressors and gave you their land. But then I told you not to worship the foreign gods of this land, and you didn’t listen.” Here a human would add: “So I’m fed up with you! Good luck, you’re on your own. Hope you can find a way to defeat those nasty Midianites, cause I’m just going to sit and watch this one!”

But God didn’t. Instead he sent a messenger (the angel of the LORD) to Gideon. When the angel of the LORD walked up, Gideon was sneakily threshing wheat in a winepress, in order to keep the Midianites from noticing and raiding. OK, normally people do not thresh wheat in their winepress – this was an act of desperation. If not for the common oppression among the Israelites, Gideon probably would have been looked on as a little *cuckoo!* by his peers. For one thing, the winepress was too small, so you could only thresh a small amount of grain at a time, making it a rather ted-i-ous project!

So when the angel of the LORD greets Gideon by saying, “The LORD is with you, mighty warrior,” it’s a laugh!

But moving on, here’s a few things that stood out to me, that have to do with how Gideon entered into battle and fought it, with the Lord’s direction. And yes I’m going to use numbers to list these points, as it makes me sound just that much smarter.

1. “My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family,” Gideon protests to the angel. God chose the fewest of the few, the weakest of the weak, to fight this battle. This isn’t that odd, though, as God follows this pattern throughout the Bible, into nowadays. He prefers weak vessels. They’re not full of themselves, so they can be filled with God.
2. God patiently responds to Gideon’s request(s) for proof. He burns up the offering He tells Gideon to prepare, when Gideon asks for evidence that God has chosen him, and that’s it really God talking to him. After that, the Spirit of the LORD comes upon (or “clothes”) Gideon, but this doesn’t mean Gideon’s without hesitation and doubts. After he’s amassed an army, Gideon asks for proof that the battle will be successful, and lays a fleece on the ground, asking God that the fleece be wet and the ground dry the next morning. And a third time he asks for proof – because Gideon wasn’t quite smart enough (okay, I probably would have done the same… ) to realize until later that it would be only natural for the fleece to remain wet while the ground was dry – so he asks God to repeat the miracle, but in reverse (the ground wet and the fleece dry).

I marvel at God’s patience here. He must have smiled when Gideon first asked Him to keep the fleece wet and the ground dry, as He knew the request that would come the next morning… “Um, God? Could we do that again?” When Gideon got pre-battle jitters as well, God steadied his courage by leading him to overhear a conversation between two scared Midianite soldiers. From His calling of Gideon to Gideon’s fall to greed in his old age, God remained patient and faithful to this man who was the least of the least, only a “mighty warrior” because the Lord had called him so and made him so.

Sorry, this is getting long. I don’t mean to prattle on so much, but I write this out not necessarily because you need/want to read it, but because I want to set it down in written words. So if you do enjoy reading it, that’s a plus!

3. To be successful in battle, Gideon first had to tear down his family’s altar to false gods, and build an altar to the true God. Yes, Gideon did it at nighttime, an act that again seems the opposite of the character of a “mighty warrior”. Considering the village’s violent response, though, I would’ve done the same! I love the response of Gideon’s father, Joash, when he spoke to the crowd intent on murdering his son. He says, “If Baal really is a god, he can defend himself when someone breaks down his altar.” What logic! This is up there with the man in Acts, who advised the Council to leave the Christians alone, as if they were not of God, they would scatter, and if they were of God, who could stop them?
4. Before the Israelites could fight the Midianites, they had to become less. God pars them down until their original force of over 30,000 becomes 300. Yikes! Verse 12 in chapter 7 says the Midianites were “as numerous as locusts; and their camels were without number, as numerous as the sand on the seashore.” I think I would be one of those Israelite men who left! “Yeah – I don’ think so! Outta here!” Before you can fight a battle, God makes you smaller. He strips away the layers you don’t need – in Gideon’s case, the men who didn’t want to fight, and the men who weren’t ready to fight. This stripping away leaves you feeling pretty naked and vulnerable before your insurmountable enemy, but in fact you’ve become stronger. Less of you = more of God. You out of the way = God stepping in and moving powerfully in your life.

And what a mighty victory in the end! An army of 300 defeated an army of at least 135,000 men. I can’t even comprehend that number. Could you imagine watching? Talk about an epic Hollywood movie! Actually let’s not imagine it… I’m sure it was gruesome… The Israelites but ran towards the Midian camp in the dark, breaking pots, waving torches, and yelling like teenager hooligans, and the Midianite soldiers starting killing each other. I don’t think the Bible mentions a single Israelite lost in this battle.

So I don’t want to do all this preaching and give you the wrong idea that I’ve got everything in life figured out. NO! So here’s a couple things that puzzle me. There’s only two, as I understand everything else so completely I could write a dissertation about it (kidding, kidding! ). Here’s the bullet points again:

• Why was it, in the Midian soldier’s dream, that their camp was smashed by a loaf of barley bread? How bizarre is that??
• How exactly do you smash a pitcher with a torch inside of it? How much noise would that make? I guess you multiply it by 300, but still? Could the torch burn with the pitcher on top?
• What was God’s reaction to some of Gideon’s choices? To repaying those that didn’t give his men bread by whipping them with thorns, and tearing down the tower, killing every man in their city? When he asked for so much gold from the thankful Israelites? From when we first meet him til his death, Gideon doesn’t make much of a spiritual role model. But God certainly did great things through him.

Okay, if you read that whole post, you deserve a Dove chocolate or something. Sadly I can’t pull a Willie Wonka stunt and hand you a chocolate bar through the screen. Wish I could. That would be sweet. So you’ll have to go hound out a chocolate for yourself and – no wait, don’t eat it! – give it to your mom. Cause the satisfaction of watching your mom eat it is so much greater than you eating it, right? Of course right.

God bless!

Rediscover Day #4: Mediator

Today started the last week of winter quarter, besides finals – it’s finally “the end of the beginning”!

My day started out really great, as I got to the church parking lot (where we meet to carpool) early, so flipped open my Bible (since Rediscover I’ve been carrying a copy in my car. Makes me look so much more religious ) and started reading. I opened to Job chapter 9, and WOW is that a good chapter. I don’t know if many people would say that, as it’s not very happy…

If you’re near a Bible, you should stop and go read it. Takes a few minutes. Then come back and keep reading this blog post. I’m serious! Don’t keep reading – ah ah – no – go. Get the Bible. That’s right. Shoo shoo, come back when you’re done reading the chapter.

 

 

So this chapter talks about how even if we’re blameless, we’re guilty before the Lord. If we asked our Judge for a hearing, “He would crush me with a storm and multiply my wounds for no reason.  He would not let me catch my breath but would overwhelm me with misery.”

 

If we washed ourselves with soap and cleansing powder, “You would plunge me into a slime pit so that even my clothes would detest me.” Not very joyful, eh? Not a very merciful picture of this great and holy God, who is so high above us we can’t fathom his movings, and who doesn’t seem interested in listening to our small talk or desperate pleas for why we don’t deserve punishment.

 

But the last two verses are what makes this chapter amazing. Job says about God,

“He is not a mere mortal like me that I might answer him,
that we might confront each other in court.
If only there were someone to mediate between us,
someone to bring us together,
someone to remove God’s rod from me,
so that his terror would frighten me no more.
Then I would speak up without fear of him,
but as it now stands with me, I cannot.”

Do you see? For us, there is a Mediator! There is Someone who brings us and God together, and Who is the reason why we no longer need to fear God’s mighty wrath! Jesus! *Insert Hallelujah chorus here!*

So yes, that chapter made my morning. Then after school I went out and did what I’ve decided is my least favorite activity in the world – job hunting. I hate feeling inadequate, like I won’t match what anyone’s looking for, and always walking away feeling like I didn’t say the right things and didn’t leave the right impression… Yeah, definitely not my favorite thing in the world.

But it’s necessary, and it’s good that I’ve finally set aside excuses and got going, as winter quarter ends so soon… I’ve left it in God’s hands, and asked Him to give me peace about whatever happens. It’ll be by His grace if I get a job, and I’m looking forward to seeing how He’ll bless me or guide me on to something better He’s got.

Yes, I’m missing books and movies – it’s hard getting used to not having them. But I’m enjoying spending more time with God…. I’m thankful for His goodness and faithfulness to me.

Rediscover: Day 3 – Judges

So when picking up my Bible for the first time in a while, I found my bookmark was in the 2nd chapter of Judges – a book that’s got a lot of great (although zany!) stories, and that I’d begun to read through again.

The stories make me laugh!!! XD So far I’ve read about:

• Ehud, a man who saved the Israelites because he was left-handed, and thus hid his 18″ long sword on his right side, where I guess no one was expecting it to be. The king he killed was so fat (think Jabba the Hut) the sword disappeared into him – “the fat closed over it [the sword hilt]“. Talk about a good story for a Bible study! Plus Ehud was able to get away because the king’s servants politely waited outside the closed doors of the king’s room, thinking he was going to the bathroom.
• Then the judge after Ehud was Shamgar, who killed 600 Philistines (crazy!) with an ox goad, or an 8 foot long cattle prod. Yikes!Re
• And then of course the story of Deborah, Barak, and Sisera – and how Sisera died at the hands of Jael, who killed him with a tent stake. I’m still not sure why she gave him milk when he asked for water…
• Interesting note here that I heard from my theology teacher – Deborah’s name means “bee”, and Jael’s name means “goat”. Is it just a coincidence that that matches up with “the land of milk and honey”? Hmmm…

Okay, gross and interesting stories aside, here’s some things that stood out to me:

• In chapter 3, it says God left some enemies in the land to test the inexperienced younger generation of Israel – as an opportunity for them to gain battle experience, and to “exercise faith and obedience in conquering their enemies”. I thought that was a neat example, of how God teaches us through battles, like a father strengthening his son. Instead of driving out their enemies, though, and learning the lessons God had for them, the Israelites intermarried and worshiped false gods… the consequence was 8 years of enslavement.
• In Deborah and Barak’s song after the victory over Sisera, they sang, “Israel’s leaders bravely led; the people gladly followed!” I thought that was neat, and could be applied to many areas of our life where there are leaders and followers… let the leaders be brave, let the followers do so gladly…

I love the book of Judges, because it has such crazy stories. I’m reminded throughout the book that their judges led, then died, came, then went, caused cycles of abundance and enslavery among the Israelites. But our Judge will never die, resign, abdicate, or commit an error. He leads us faithfully & true.

Rediscover: Day 2 – Hymns

Today I seized the opportunity first to sleep in, then to work on school and other things I need to catch up on. It’s now 6 at night, and I’ve finished several assignments for Nutrition, written a book review, scoured (1/2) of our exceedingly dirty stovetop, as well as edited a bit of my Nano. It’s drizzling outside (typical Washington weather! ), and at that point when the house grows dusky and dark, so you have to flick on the yellow electric lights that signify it’s time to eat dinner, and play family games, and prepare for the ending of the day.

Right now Pandora’s playing, and I’m reminded of how beautiful hymns are. And wanted to compile a list of my favorites and learn what your favorites are. First, here’s mine, at least those that come to mind right now….

• All Creatures of our God and King (ye lights of evening, find a voice!)
• This is My Father’s World (why should my heart be sad?)
• Jesus Paid It All (love this one)
• It is Well With My Soul (my sin, not in part, but the whole… yeah I could just quote that whole song )
• I Have Decided To Follow Jesus (a song to be sung heartily)
• The Love of God (such beautiful lyrics!)
• Nothing But the Blood (for my cleansing this my plea…)
• Joyful, Joyful We Adore Thee (sometimes a song becomes cliche because we never go beyond the first verse…)
• Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing (prone to wander, Lord, I feel it…)
• Blessed Redeemer (written long before Casting Crowns made it popular)
• Take My Life

I’ll stop here before I just end up listing a whole hymn book. A lot of these I’ve heard at youth events, in worship… I’m sure there are many more, lesser known hymns that are beautiful, but I’ve never heard them… what’re your favorites? Favorite hymns, favorite lines from hymns?

Rediscover

So my life’s been slightly crazy lately. My tests come in waves, and last week was one of those weeks where I had an exam in every class. Now that that’s over, finals are about 10 days away, extra credit’s due… not to mention I still haven’t decided on what classes (online) I’m taking next quarter, let alone signed up for them and paid!

So when a good friend invited me yesterday to a free showing of “To Save A Life” at a college that night, I was hesitant. But I had heard good things about the movie, and I hadn’t seen friends besides my carpooling buddies (which I love dearly!) in a long time. So I went. And I’m really glad.

For one thing, the movie was amazing. Really. If you have not seen it, I highly – strongly - recommend it.  So many Christian movies have the tendency of sugarcoating life, or presenting the highlights of a walk with God, without showing the “valleys of death” Christians walk through too. The beauty of this movie is that it sugarcoats nothing.  Suicide, cutting, abortion, hypocritical Christians, divorce, drugs, sex – all of these issues are in the film. The whole time I was watching this movie, I felt like there was a magnet on the ceiling and my hands were metal. I wanted to throw my hands up and worship God. There was a pretty good showing, and I loved to hear the laughter during the funny parts. The audience was clearly enjoying the movie as much as I was – because I think a lot of people there were Christians, and seeing this story of faith in the main character’s life, Jake, filled them with joy. Seeing someone discover the life there is in God, in a life following Him, is better than any high you could get from drugs. Way better. (not that I know from experience but still…)

Anyhow, all that to say I recommend the movie, and please see it if you haven’t.

So on the ride home from seeing this amazing movie (after the film a girl also  shared her testimony – which was amazing to listen to. Truly amazing. Okay I just used the word “amazing” three times in this paragraph, time to pull out the thesaurus… ), my friend and I were talking about the movie, and about how we’ve let our time with God dwindle down to non-existent lately… so I mentioned how, inspired by the Lent season (more about that later), I had been planning to go through a 40-day devotional book and focus more on God. I’ve been neglecting my relationship with Him, and filling my mouth with things of the world. I feel dirty, not necessarily because I am shoveling in bad things, but because I am ignoring God and the tug on my heart.

So my friend suggested we take 40 days and focus on God together – act as accountability partners. The idea was perfect for where we are and how we had felt our hearts stir that night. So when we got home we actually drew up a paper (yes, we’re so official!! ) and signed it, saying that for the next 40 days (until April 20th) we would abstain from movies, Youtube, Hulu, Netflix, and pleasure books.

We’re calling this time “Rediscover”, from the song by Starfield. My friend and I will be blogging frequently to let you know how it’s going. Make sure to check out her blog too, as I’m sure God’s going to teach us different things during this time!

And, of course, I encourage you to join us! Whether you feel you should give up the same things, or whether there’s other things in your life you feel are draining your time… time that God desires as jealously as a lover… well, consider it. Post a comment if you decide to “rediscover” God these next 40 days. You won’t regret it!

God bless.