Well hello.

I know I haven’t written in a while, and I think about that fact often, but really I’ve had no desire to post…

In fact lately I have been going a couple days without checking my email or taking care of my Travian village. O.O I like to think that this is because I am busy actually living a life.

Also, I’m pretty sure that my brain is now incapable of producing any more interesting or witty Facebook statuses. Such a terrible thing, I know.

And, in case you didn’t notice, I have not been posting on my blog.

I have always restrained myself when writing blog posts. I do not like to talk about all the little things of my life and describe in detail what happens to me everyday. I do not like to write posts that offer advice or that make it sound in any way as though I have even one area in my life figured out – because it is really really easy to give out advice and to talk about the valuable lesson I’ve learned when in fact I am in the middle of the lesson. It is all too easy to have something touch my heart – a verse, a saying, a moment – and to spit it out in a blog post before I have truly let it sink into my heart and have let it marinate within me. Do you know what I mean? Sometimes when I write little Facebook statuses or blog posts or even write in my diary, it feels like I am just taking in life through my ears and pouring it out again through my open mouth. Sometimes I just need to close my mouth and let things remain in my mind for a while.

Of course sometimes I need the entire opposite. Living inside your mind, without much people-interaction, is not healthy. Sometimes I hold thoughts inside of me and turn them over and over. The kind of thoughts that people have been thinking for thousands of years and that don’t have a conclusion, and those wonderings can drive you kinda crazy. If you stop and look at this world: the trees and the tiny details and think about how real it is and how many people have lived and are living and how many cultures there are and how small I am and my world, what a small piece of everything I am, and how many things there are in this universe 

One thing I appreciate about God is that He never says life is simple. I mean, He tells us not to worry and that He’s in charge, and He reprimands us when we get caught up in our human frantic-ness, but I always feel that He understands. I appreciate that He does not make life or faith sound like a 1-2-3 step easy-peasy thing, because it’s not. Life is messy and rarely feels simple.

I am thankful we have a God who is patient with sheep, and who loves the one that says, “I believe, help me with my unbelief.”

Sorry for the ramblings. But then I don’t post for you readers, as much as I post for myself. If you don’t see blog posts for a while, just know it’s because I am closing my mouth and holding life-things inside me, to contemplate for a while.

Book review coming soon.

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