One of the things I miss most about living in Cannon Beach is the beach at night. I loved running on the beach to Haystack and back at night, after evening classes. I wish, I wish I had done it every night.


I always go jogging by myself, cause I’m such a slowpoke and like to set my own speed, and I always go jogging when and where no one else is around. Maybe silly, but that’s how I do things.

So I loved the deserted, quiet beach with the steady roar of the waves at one side and the still silhouettes of homes and hotels on the other.

Every time I went out, the beach was always different. I ran barefoot so I could feel the sand.
Sometimes it would be loose and dry, sometimes wet and hard-packed. In the wintertime after it had rained the cold sand was still shaped from a million raindrops hitting its surface, which felt the neatest to walk on.

Sometimes the moon was full. Sometimes it was new and the sky was clear and I could see all the stars. Sometimes it was completely cloudy. Sometimes it was raining. One time it was windy and storming so bad I was soaked before I had walked 300 yards, so I was forced to turn around…


But most of the time it was clear and beautiful. And dark. So I could spin and leap and dance to my favorite music knowing no one could see me but God.

Out there God received my worship, in voice and dance. Out there I threw tortured, frustrated questions to Him into the wind, one after another. Out there He listened with a father’s smile to the wandering thoughts of my mind winding down from the day. Out there I pondered the teachings of the week. On the beach I stood still and took in the surrounding beauty and as always felt the inadequacy of my simple being to take it in.

Two things I am often conscious of (and saddened, frustrated by) are how quickly time flies by and today’s enjoyment so quickly becomes a fading memory – and how much beauty and wonder there is in this world, and what a thimblefull I feel I can dwell on and understand.

God is beyond words. God is beyond human goodness. And I miss the beach in the darkness.

How I regret I did not walk on it everyday. Which leads me to wonder… what am I not doing now, that I may regret in the future?